This is going to be a fairly quick post as compared to the other two posts I’m working on that are multi week projects to get just right.
Many girls get pretty upset that guys learn PickUp and dating skills in general. Over the years it’s often been compared to makeup for men. I always thought that was a good way to look at it, but until recently, I didn’t have such a great way to articulate it that made it clear why women are so negative about it and also why it’s so effective.
Dating is a combination of a status game and a value game. It’s a value game in that everything in life is a value game. Something that has no value is useless to us.
Now, it’s true that in western culture, humanism has made it so that we view each person has being someone worthy of some level of human dignity. This is how democracy works. Each person gets an equal say because each person is accorded some basic level of respect in society.
No matter who you are, walking around beating up, kicking or spitting on random people, is rude and unacceptable behavior. Even doing this to a criminal or a murderer would be considered out of place and it’s why even the death penalty is administered with a minimum desire to inflict pain on the person.
Now, clearly women are looking for the maximum value they can get, but figuring out how much value a given guy has is a difficult problem given that a lot of the value that men can provide is not inherent in who they are. In evolutionary terms, in addition to good genes, which are relatively easy to determine, there are a lot more attributes that are important given the inherent vulnerability of pregnant women and women with children.
Because this is such a difficult problem women can’t assess a man’s absolute value. Instead, they assess his relative value, and relative value is what status is.
Assessing someone’s status is also a somewhat difficult problem, but it’s far easier than assessing absolute value. It’s a kind of shorthand in the same way that if I do an internet search for the 10 most beautiful women of the year, I can get a rough estimate of status, but I’d have no idea if any of those women would make a good long term (or short term) partner–you never know who has a stank vag and who doesn’t! Lols.
As you can see, that isn’t to say that status is a great measure to use to assess value, but it’s a far easier problem to solve and works well enough that it’s the default method girls use at least for the initial screening problem. It’s something like how Harvard cuts out anyone with a GPA below a certain level.
One of the reasons that PickUp is so effective for guys when they first get into it is that the first things that you learn are designed to obscure your value so that guys aren’t immediately eliminated.
Improving body language is a key aspect to obscuring status as all throughout the animal kingdom because it provides clues to a person’s disposition. Speaking more loudly, standing up straight, having open body language, dressing in an eye-catching fashion that draws attention, and engaging people in conversation are all behaviors that imply a level of status that women should pay attention to.
Makeup and fashion work in the same way for women where by using a push up bra, reddening the lips and using eyeliner, they obscure their actual physical features making their value more uncertain and giving them a higher level of exposure to men than they would otherwise get.
As such, it’s no surprise that women really are unhappy with guys learning pickup and dating skills. It essentially makes their attempts to determine status harder than it would otherwise be.
There are some really interesting side effect of this. I love the perplexed look on a client’s face when he as a 25yo virgin who’s never chatted up a girl at a club before, gets accused of being a playboy!
The interesting thing is that by obscuring their status, they get the opportunity to present their unique value to women who may never have had gotten the chance to find a guy who is closer to what she’s looking for than she typically comes across in that environment.
So, in the end, it’s win-win for everyone, lols.
